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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?